18 Comments
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Diana from Sloppyperfect's avatar

Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. I lived in Frankfurt for 3+ years about 10 years ago. I can confirm both the beauty of living abroad and the whole craziness of the bureaucracy in Germany.

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Katharina's avatar

Dee, I can relate to you in so many ways! I am German and moved abroad to Canada for a few years. There, at restaurants, I would also say "I'm okay, thanks" as a way of saying that I didn't want any more food or water. Always accompanied by a wave of my hand of a headshake. Now, back in Germany whenever I say that in a restaurant in Berlin, I either get greeted with a confused expression or more water (haha). It's crazy what living abroad does to you- even though I am German, I have fully adapted the Canadian way for that scenario and confuse people with my behavior.

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Dee's avatar

Lol! Living elsewhere really does change us! I’ve also adapted to lots of German ways unconsciously over the years. My favorite is Sonntagsruhe! 😊

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Katharina's avatar

Yes, Sonntagsruhe! My husband's favourite is the "Feierabendbier".

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Mariusz Sikorski's avatar

Living in Japan for about 12 years and I can relate to a lot of these.

Despite the chunk of time here being the only non-Japanese person in a room still feels uncomfortable a lot of the time. I’m not a fan of the attention that brings in most situations.

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Shahd's avatar

Living abroad made want to stay there forever 😁

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Kathryn Harmond's avatar

We emigrated to Spain in 2020 from England. Best decision ever.

We found Silvia, a fantastic gestora (I guess the nearest equivalent is paralegal) who took all the pain out of the paperwork.

My advice to anyone is to immerse yourself in the language, don’t hang out with “ex-pats” ie immigrants from your own country, the healthcare system is infinitely better than NHS and embracing the new culture is a huge adventure!

Thanks for sharing x

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Dee's avatar

Hey Kathryn. I love Spain, the food, the weather, the nature... I've been thinking of moving there eventually. And, 100% on immersing in the language and finding local friends. It helped me too in practicing my German speaking skills and also for things I don't fully understand.

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Kathryn Harmond's avatar

I hope everything works out well for you! I have always been a traveler, even the bad experiences are useful! Apart from UK, I’ve worked in Amsterdam, Australia, Brazil, Cuba and USA, plus short placements in Italy and Sweden. I’m sure you will continue to fly high xx

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Dee's avatar

Thank you, I appreciate that! xx

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Achim Liebold's avatar

Dee, you wrote a beautiful post! I can relate. My story: Never felt at home. First NY, then Paris and then Ireland. And then slowly this little green island became MY home - and still is. And I still love it to pieces ....

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Dee's avatar

Thank you for sharing to! It really does take a while to find where home is and to feel comfortable in a place. I've only been to Ireland once and it was for work, been wanting to go back and explore, I've heard great things!

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Isha's avatar

Loved reading this so much, Dee! I relate to so many things you mentioned—I’m almost in the same boat as you. Lately, I’ve been wondering more and more whether I even want to stay for another five years. While I still hesitate to fully call it home, the thought of moving back feels just as tough. Thanks for sharing :)

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Dee's avatar

Thank you! I totally get you, it isn’t 100% home but not sure what else to call it. Living in Germany is hard, I’m wondering if maybe other places would be different. 😅

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Isha's avatar

Based on my experience and what I’ve heard, settling in the Netherlands seems easier when it comes to formalities. For example, I obtained my residence permit fairly smoothly, despite needing to schedule an appointment in advance—this was all taken care of. The same applied to getting my bank card, where there was an initial hiccup, but it was manageable once I made an appointment to resolve it.

However, housing and healthcare have proven to be comparatively more challenging. I struggled to get a GP appointment, especially during the flu season, and finding a house has been tough. The process of scheduling viewings and then applying can sometimes take months before you find something.

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Jane Bracher's avatar

“I’m thriving and making it work because the alternative is going back to Manila, where opportunities are limited and a good life is only for the rich.” — 💯💯💯💯 hard same 😭 love this, Dee!

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Laura Zhang's avatar

Hi Dee! I love this so much—thanks for sharing! I recently moved to Berlin, so I really felt seen after reading your piece. Everything is so relatable, from the bureaucracy to making sure I don't say "I'm good" at a restaurant lol. It’s reassuring to hear that the expat life gets easier!! :)

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Lisa Cunningham DeLauney's avatar

You're so right about the challenges, Dee. I've lived away from my native UK for two decades now, and it remains tricky but also rewarding. Bureaucracy is so much harder in a foreign language and culture!

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